The Saga of the Shrimp

Shrimp tails.

 

Yes, shrimp tails are a major concern in my life.  You see, I love seafood. All kinds of seafood to be exact. I order seafood when it is at all available. So as you can imagine, I order shrimp often.

 

Unfortunately, one of the problems with ordering shrimp is that it is usually served with the tail on. Now in some applications this is wonderful. Shrimp cocktail would not be the same with out the nature-made little handles already affixed to each morsel. In this scenario, shrimp tails are justified as they keep the consumer’s fingers out of the sauce, they are cold and they are visible.  The same for “pick and peel” shrimp…you are alerted by the name alone to be wary of shrimp tails (as well as other shell bits).

 

My bugaboo is that shrimp tails more often than not accompany the shrimp into sauces and batters that require removal before consumption. And these shrimp are served at about the same temperature as lava so manual removal requires a high pain threshold as well as several napkins, wet wipes and probably at some point, a hose and bucket.

 

So the problem now becomes how to handle the situation.

 

There are a couple of solutions. First would be to daintily remove the entire tail section with a knife and fork. This is fine and decorous. But it leaves a big piece of deliciousness in the shell on your plate. The next course of action is then to surgically remove the tail shell with a knife from the intact shrimp. Sometimes I can do this with grace and ease; other times not so much. A lot depends on whether the sauce they are slathered in will come out of the material that I am wearing. In any other situation, such as a large glob of fried batter on the shrimp that obscures the location of the tail, if there is one, I usually end up consuming one tail. That is probably a significant factor in why fried is my least favorite preparation for seafood. The crunch should only come from the coating.

 

I understand that tail on shrimp are sold that way because the tail adds flavor. That’s fine, but someone needs to remove my shrimp tails for the safety of myself as well as others at my table.

 

You’ve been warned.